Colonel Mustard & the Dijon 5

Colonel Mustard & the Dijon 5


Glasgow, a

Coming soon - a much longed-for debut from a much hated band of renegade fudpots. From the outset there is something immediately familiar and yet vitally inventive about the

Colonel Mustard & the Dijon 5


Coming soon - a much longed-for debut from a much hated band of renegade fudpots. From the outset there is something immediately familiar and yet vitally inventive about the Colonel; the riotously funny Pantalone filler is both the song that every band plays for a spot of light relief during a jam and a stroke of genius war cry call to laughter, inspired by a laughter yoga session with joy works in which fake laughter quickly turns to real laughter releasing endorphins and making you a happier and better person from track one, watch out for the dulsatt tones. Gay Icon, is a good old rock n roll homage to a night out in Edinburgh where the gay community embraced the Colonel who hadn't realised he was in a gay club, he was described that night as so fame a term he has not heard before or since. This song wouldn't be out of place in a Elton John or Scissors Sisters set. Next up is the epic dance/disco/funk track The International Sex Hero Is Coming To The Rescue this happy Mondaysesque track builds the tempo and strokes the contradictory ego of one of The Colonel's many alter egos. Where else would you hear the lines "Been there and done it all from Inverness to Donegal" or" I dance all night like John Travolta, I make love like Casanova". Lyrical tongue in cheek genius, both a homage and piss take of our suoper ego rappers and rock n rollers. Next up the Colonel's foot soldier St Bager of Mombassa takes the lead vocal on the reggae/ska Bouncy Ball; the tale of a woman scorned and bouncey with an impromptu doff of the cap to Jamaica Streets Sub club and classic Grand, with the Colonel's ragga touch "She was the goalie in me 5 a side team, she was a throw back to the old times, when men were men and women were men!". Next up is the girl boy anthem for the promiscuous people, we've all be there! Walk of Shame celebrates this phenomenon with lyrics like "happy slapper, sweety rapper, looking dapper. Walks like John Wayne down the Rio Bravo, full of Bravado and going Commando" You've got to take the walk of shame sounds like a song devoted to a dance craze rather than a celebration of walking home in your party clothes in the daylight. The Colonel does however always promote safe sex, despite the vaticans best attempts at assassination. The Colonel reminded the pope that the Vatican has the highest crime rate per square mile of anywhere in Europe and that 5 % of his priests are paedophiles, which is just the tip of the iceberg of genuine shame, so stop having a go at people having a good time, to which his holiness replied Santa isn't real, something the Colonel has still not come to terms with. Walk of Shame also includes The Colone's most provactive lyric one that could earn him an Ivor Novello or some time in the Bar L "You are what you eat, and you eat what you can grab and theres nothing I like more on a Friday night than a badly packed kebab". Ahem, moving on to the Colonel's appeal to serial killers to take up another hobby, I mean a man needs a hobby but for fucks sake murder is a bit extreme, take up sewing or stamp collecting if you need the adrenalin buzz Sky Diving or just kill yourself. Anyway Shipman On Ice(Was he worse than Barrymore?), asks Harold Shipman in a posthumous manner what if it had been IceSkating rather than murder with classic lyrics like "one day he'd be Torvill and The next day he'd be Dean, he'd Dance to the bolero in between his killing spree' and You might think it's going swell but there aint no ice in jail or hell' joyous and simplistic, the Dijon 5's highly developed partnership deliver sweet harmonious hooks, rockabilly beats and exuberant oohs and animal noises, that spill out across the album. Ramajameah was recorded entirely within the bosom of their hometown Glasgow, with Sam Smith and Martin Lindinger at the controls. Their involvement according to The Colonel as he doesn't communicate verbally with the Dijon 5 after a game of Bookakai that went horribly wrong. Colonel Mustard & The Dijon 5 are defined by their own distinct and powerful collaboration. The Colonel with full on vocal and lyrical menace and The Dijon 5 with their instruments to actually make the ramblings of a mad man songs. Closing track It Always Ends In Tears With A Ginger Girl(part 75) ,sums up what they are all about. Good times, audience participation, losing your inhibitions and embracing the laughter, the melodies, the lyrics and the subtle sounds and songs that mean each new listen will deliver something fresh. Who else could write "her Celtic roots were turning my root white, it glowed in the dark when she turned out the lights, she had me on my knees I was force fed and when I looked up I was seeing red" The Colonel is your new leader follow him with laughter, joy and a bounce in your step. Word to your mustard! Colonel Mustard hand selected the Dijon 5 from borstal,various young offenders institutes, St Badger from Mombassa and from the dirty waste of a ping pong banana show gone wrong. He turned these future career criminals, Kenyan animal patron saints and filthy fruits into musical genius'. He truly touched them all and made them the members they are today! They played some contact sport together, got to know each other and later in the team bath they decided to become Colonel Mustard and The Dijon 5 and conquer the world! Crowd participation is the Colonel's middle names. Your Colonel needs you, word to your mustard.




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Date added: 2013-03-19 23:10:50    Views: 616
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